For Such A Time As This...

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The following is a message based on Esther 4: 10-17 I gave in my church this morning. I have asked my congregation to have words of courage, I can do no less...

Pastor Martin Niemöller was a protestant pastor in Germany during the second world war, and the time of reconciliation afterward. A time we recognize as full of great horror and upheaval. You may already be well familiar with a poem based on a speech of his, this particular version comes off the US Holocaust memorial:

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

It seems that these words could have easily been written for Mordecai to share with Esther.

Both of those times were times of great risk and upheaval. Jews did not have a place that belonged solely to them. They lived without security. They lived without true belonging and safety just for being who they were.

It’s something which we all long for and need. It’s something upon which we build the foundations of our society so that our children grow up and inherit something better, safer, some place in which they can belong.

That sense of belonging—it beckons us all. We all have a deep desire for safety. These are universal needs.

Esther had every reason to be afraid. Disobeying the King would put her very life in danger. Esther was only Queen because the Queen before her was booted out for making King Xerces unhappy.

But Mordecai’s words echo down through the generations, “Do not think that in the king’s palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father’s family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for just such a time as this.’

Such a time as this…

We live in a time where hate is pedaled to us like the sales pitch of an old time tonic salesman promising to cure everything that ails us.

But the idea of God not loving people is something which we can let go of.

The last time I was preaching I was unaware that morning a shooting had occurred at Pulse nightclub in Florida and so did not mention it in worship, through pastoral prayer, nor did I find a way to address it in the message.

There’s some controversy surrounding this nightclub because it was a gay club.

While most of our culture has condemned that shooting as an atrocity, a hate crime, a heinous act. Others have said, well, it’s very sad, and it’s wrong to shoot people. But, they were, you know, gay. I wouldn’t do that, and I’m sure God doesn’t think it’s okay, but they were in a nightclub doing, well, who knows what….

As if any of that has any correlation to the horror of what happened.

While I was on vacation I heard an interesting thing at my Dad’s church that hadn’t occurred to me before. His pastor spoke about how this club was a place of safety for the gay community. That there are so few places in our society where Lesbian, Gay, Transgender or Bisexual folks don’t have to obsessively watch themselves and how others respond to them.

Now, I have never thought of a club, dancing, and drinking as a place of safety. A place of complete belonging and acceptance.

But, then, I’ve never needed to do so. I’ve been welcome wherever I’ve been, and my relationship with the one I love the most in this world has always been accepted. I’ve never had to look out for us and I’ve most definitely never had to hide our love.  

And as Pastor Brenda shared this I sat there and wondered was the church as much, or more, of a place of safety as gay clubs can be seen to be?

And, sadly, for many, the church is not. If one is gay, then one can find oneself in a group of people who profess love and grace and acceptance for all, but in practice share words of hate, coldness, and be a place where one is most definitely not welcome.

But there are exceptions. Places where the love of God and God’s hospitality are a priority and are shared with all who enter. Churches that have made it their mission to go out of their way to show that they care and love all people, and do not see one’s sexuality as a hindrance to God’s acceptance.

The Disciples of Christ Church affirms that all are loved and accepted by God and encourages its churches to go through a process of discussion about how to be more accepting, show God’s hospitality, and share with the surrounding community that it believes all are welcomed by God.

But, many churches-both denominations and congregations- continue to struggle with ideas of what is acceptable to God and what isn’t.

How is that our decision?

How can we judge what God deems lovable?

If God can deem anyone unlovable, then friends, we have to realize that God can deem us unlovable too.

Esther’s answer was through her faith-fasting and prayer that gave her the courage to speak out for her people.

We, too, can have the courage to pray and speak out for our people.

Yes, our people.

LGBT folks are our people—no longer should they be shunned by the church or church folk.

Instead let us be a voice that shows God’s acceptance. A voice that speaks out against hate. Unless good folks stand up and say, no more, then this cycle of violence will continue.

Let’s not let this issue get clouded that in this one instance the shooter happened to be Muslim. He did not act in a way that is consistent with the Muslim faith as most Muslims understand it. 

Violence happens all the time to the LGBT community. And some of it is perpetrated by folks who profess to be committed Christians.

It may no longer be enough to not say hateful things or not do hateful things to this group of people. It may be time for folks who love God like we do to be more vocal about God’s love and acceptance.

Like Mordecai’s words of wisdom to Esther, our answers also lay within the courage that is found through hope. And hope, my friends, is not a weak emotion used when our backs are to the wall and we have nothing left. We lead with hope. We lead with love.

And, instead of feeding the fear and hate that seems to be rampant in our country right now, we can instead courageously and steadfastly say words of love, compassion, and truth.

That Love is always greater than hate. Hope is always greater than fear. We are not a people of hate or of fear. We are always a people of love and of hope.

Amen.

Feeling Vulnerable...

It’s hard to be vulnerable. And today I am feeling very vulnerable. Two years ago my friend and writing partner, Joy Freeman, and I sent an email that eventually turned into a book about our experiences as grieving mothers. And today, February 1, 2016 is the day that book is released.

I’m struggling with knowing that others will read words I have poured out from my heart onto the page. THIS is the real me. All of my doubts, anger, heartache, all of my stuff available for any and all to see. And I can’t help but ask myself, what if someone says something about my experience that is hurtful. There is already hurt there, what if more is piled on?

And I think of the five other clergywomen who have poured their hearts out onto these pages, and revealed some of the hardest moments of their lives…and they are vulnerable and real in those words too. They are beautiful, gut wrenching stories. And, ultimately, they are stories that share in the hope that is God…but for some of us it takes a while to get there.

And it’s just so hard to be so exposed. To share my wounds with the world and say, ‘this is my heartache.’ But then I remember it’s not so I can be judged, I’ve done that to myself plenty already. It’s so that other women can see that wherever they are in their own story of loss/death, it is simply where they are. There’s not a ‘right’ way or a ‘wrong’ way to grieve, to cope, to create a new life out of the ashes of one’s most beautiful hopes.

We share our stories so that women who have not yet been able to share their stories know they are not alone. That’s our purpose. We ARE NOT ALONE.

My story began a little over thirteen years ago…

“As if, at the age of twenty-six, the deaths of two of my children in their first trimester were not enough heartache for one year, I faced my own morality too. Cancer. Now there is a death word if there ever was one. I wondered more than once, were the previous nine months a foreshadowing of the next year? During the only prenatal visit with my third pregnancy my doctor discovered a lump in my neck. This was a visit that began with hope and expectation of a future, not only my future but also the future of my child. I was convinced before the appointment that this child would live and I was determined everything would be okay. I felt my appointment without significant worry, although there was a sliver of uncertainty where complete confidence had once reigned. Everything seemed fine with this baby, and my doctor gave reassurances that the lump was “probably nothing,” but she wanted me to make appointments with others to “just make sure.”

Even though I want to be, I am not truly in control of what happens within my body. I can try to be by exercising, eating right, and generally caring for my body, but really that just improves the odds a bit. This journey has taught me that very difficult lesson. Within the month I would find out that this baby, too, had died. And just a few short months after that I would be diagnosed with thyroid cancer. For me, loss of children, loss of self, loss of faith, and loss of health are all intertwined. I wanted my body to nurture cells that would form into a baby—a living manifestation of the love my husband and I had for each other. Instead, my womb denied life and my body allowed cancer to flourish. Death prospered where life withered" (33). 

Still A Mother: journeys through perinatal bereavement is available through any bookseller. I encourage you to visit www.judsonpress.com or www.amazon.com if you would like a preview or would like to order the book and share in our journey…