En pointe

Monday is no longer an average Monday in my house. It has been re-named “Dance Day.” It’s an important distinction on my four-year-old daughter’s social calendar. She has identified herself as a  

ballerina and says that ‘twirling’ is her favorite thing to do.  (Really, she’s adorable. I’m sure you agree.)

Anna watching the older girls en pointe class.

This past week the en pointe class was practicing in the classroom next to hers and from where I was sitting I could see their practice quite clearly. I began to wonder if each of them understands how strong she is and that because of her strength she is beautiful.

In all of their pre-teen/early-teen awkwardness they are strong. They are beautiful. They are amazing. They are empowered to be and do whatever they can dream of being or doing. Not just because they can dance on their toes, which in itself is pretty impressive, but because they simply are who they are.

Our culture places a high emphasis on beauty, but not beauty as strength, as empowerment, as a joyful expression of beings created by God.  

Instead, beauty is often defined as a sexual object to another and further defined by others standards ABOUT us.

There’s nothing wrong about identifying with one’s sexuality and understanding that is a core component of who we are as human beings. But one’s sexuality and being a sexual object are light years apart in understanding.

I wonder, I HOPE, these girls see their beauty as so much more than that.

They are strong, they can do amazing things with their bodies because of their perseverance and discipline. I hope they see their strength as something that gives them the confidence that they are indeed beautiful because of who they are, not because of what someone else puts upon them.

We are inundated with images of beauty ALL THE TIME.

Women can post nude pictures of themselves to their Instagram account and call it empowerment all they want, but I believe real empowerment is when we achieve something with our mind or our bodies that we didn’t know we could. It’s when we reach beyond what we’ve been told we are able to accomplish as girls or women and claim that strength for ourselves.

It’s not just these girls who are beautiful.

    

My beautifully strong sister-in-law,
Aunie. An inspiration to
girls everywhere

I want my daughter, and all the other mother’s daughters, to see themselves as beautiful. Because they are. Because there are no limits to beauty.

In a culture that sacrifices girls every single day to the gods of skinniness and male fantasy, I want them to understand and know how much MORE they are.

In a culture that tells girls that they must conform to any specific body standard to be beautiful, I want them to know their own strength.

In a culture that teaches women to look in the mirror and see flaws that must be fixed by any product in order to be beautiful, I want all women and girls to instead accept THAT THEY ARE NOT flawed.

They are lovely as they are.

I posed a question of strength and beauty to several women friends on Facebook, and their answers were as lovely as they were diverse. Several spoke of beauty in terms of strength of character and strength of faith. Others spoke of being able to claim their abilities and talents and being true to oneself as authentic beauty. 

But one in particular struck a chord with me as I was pondering my influence on my daughter’s perception of her beauty. “I'd like to hope that when it comes down to it, I don't have to tell my daughter anything about this. That she sees strength and beauty demonstrated by me as I saw it demonstrated by my mother.”

I realize that for my daughter to see herself as beautiful I must claim my own beauty for myself. It does no good for me to bemoan the culture I live in, or preach the intrinsic beauty of each girl and woman, if I cannot truly say the same for myself and embrace who I am.

It’s not narcissism. It’s truth. God made me. I have value. I have strength. I am beautiful. And so are you.